Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Ask the magic 8 Ball - Less Than Jake



Who ever thought that not working was a good idea?


Man I can’t begin to say how bored I am, the only saving grace is that I don’t rely on day time TV to get me through the day. For a start I don’t know if Chinese television has this and then I could understand about 1 in 20 words. Right now even playing on the 360 is not doing it for me, back in the frame of mind when I turn it on then off almost right away. I need to get some more hobbies, today I shall have my first ever lesson in Chinese language, after self learning without too much conviction for the past couple of years. I am also wondering the city, checking out new areas even this only holds my attention for so long. There is only so much to see before it all becomes the same, so with this in mind I think I need to keep myself busy more often, my students do help with that, learning more about teaching and the exams which some of them are taking has given me something to work towards, providing me with goals to achieve. I still need something more than that, maybe a full time job would be the best idea, I know it makes sense and all that. I know that I can’t let myself become a house husband that would be so sad.
So what kind of sports could I get myself involved with again, I did always like canoeing, cycling, even kick boxing sounds interesting right now but that would be a temporary fad and could just be a change to let out my anger without much fear of punitive action against me. It would also be a good idea to get to know more people here other teachers however seem to be very odd people I guess if someone is prepared to live in any country then they aren’t the kind of person who is looking too hard for more friends, it’s not as if we come here in large groups of teachers is it? It is also difficult to start talking as people are always busy, so it’s actually quite a lonely job. Other teachers that I have been chatting with online have said the same thing. So it seems that apart from a few examples to the rule meeting people at the tutor job is not that easy how else can this happen. Starting a new hobby like some of the ones mentioned above would be a good place to start.
I could start taking part in long distance bike rides, but where is the fun in all that? Its al about the speed and trying not to be killed on the well organised roads in Beijing.
Well I think now it has taken me about 2 weeks to finish writing this post, I haven’t been in the mood to write recently, the last few days have been good for me, lots more students and money for me, although other parts of my time here may not be so good at least I have been keeping busy in some aspects. A lot of my time has been taken up by going to the gym almost every day then working and also meeting teachers for once, speaking normal English too, always find it difficult to speak quickly. I am so used to keeping it slow for the students and for abby, so it is refreshing to talk with a native speaker for once. Even though they are Australian I won’t hold that against them. I am slightly ashamed that I had to mention the clich├ęd, all Australians are criminals. What was I thinking!!!

Today is another fierce day, the sun is very strong its not too hot but you can feel it on your skin, I will not be spending too much time outside today.
Dude its been almost a month since my last post
Also why has it taken me 27 years to finally eat a mango, so nice but there is not easy or clean way to eat them, that’s all part of the fun!
Here is a photo to cheer people up:

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Bone Broke – The White Stripes



How to explain Lost to someone who only started watching it in the fifth season?
Man just thinking about it makes the show sound so bad and stupid, why have I been watching it so much? Maybe I cant explain it as well as watching the show would explain the point.

I only got as far as telling them that some people crashed on an island and the are bad people, never mind everything else that has happened, with flashbacks, forwards, monster, polar bears, people never telling others the whole story, a Chinese dude who can talk with the dead, characters walking after crippled, time travel, ghosts, crazy French women, a hatch, Scottish brother, hunted house which keeps moving, a ship stranded in the middle of the jungle, Jim from Neighbours being evil, how can it rain every time something bad is about to happen, Darma project, submarines, why jack is still a dick and why do people listen him, secret underwater base, a guy with eye liner who doesn’t age and so many people being half siblings and having connections before the island.

Yes it does sound like nonsense, just nonsense that is done well. I wonder if I missed anything from all that? Oh yes the numbers, which seem to have been forgotten about for last couple of seasons, and Hurley is still the size of a house but funny too and why did they kill off the Hobbit?

Well since there is going to be one final season after the current one, then what answers can will be given? Still we don’t know why the island can heal people and bring them back to life, why people can’t give birth on it, why no one can find it (well that has something to do with time travel)

I hope the show does finish without trying to drag it out to much, before it gets even more silly, like looking back at Alias, another show created by this guy after the 1st season that went daft and quickly died as it didn’t seem to go anywhere. Well it lasted for 5 years but the final one was so bad and had a couple of Dallas moments which is never a good idea.

Yes I have been busy learning so many different exam contents, another of my students is taking yet another exam, so this time it is for young learners, this kid is good and has a lot of talent in English already, that will be from Friday, I also have another new student today, right now I know nothing about them other than it’s female. That takes my total to 9 students now, soon they will start to overlap and I may have to turn some down. My weekend schedule is filling up quickly; next thing I need to do more of is prepare Chinese language to help me more, time for some lessons in it.

Well I’m off to watch the episode I started last night before being interrupted with so many questions, like who is that, what is he doing, who is that kid, what is this show about, sigh……

Monday, 13 April 2009

The Pretender – Foo Fighters


Dude just who would have children?


What is the point when they reach the age of being able to question their environment and people around them then they become evil and how can I control someone else child when they can’t do the same? Surely at this age all of the joy and love that parents have in children must fly out of the window so quickly. Once everything around them has ceased being new and interesting, they become little versions of adults without the knowledge that the world sucks and life after school isn’t so much better then before.


So the reason for my latest outburst that children is not just the fact that I am getting older and grumpier all the time, that does have a large bearing on it, not get me wrong or anything, but the most recent and freshest reason in my mind is that I have a couple of my students are both at this age, one male and one female. This can’t be just because they are Chinese, I’m very certain and have had enough experiences to know that the same thing will happen in England too. Well, could I start to rant about the role of the parents here, well no not really fair to do that until I can have my own child, if that ever happens. All I can comment on is the influences of teachers, since I am only a pretend teacher here, how much can I do to make the kid learn?

Well two experiences I have had with 8 year old children when in the one on one environment of teaching have both been negative.


All that this experience has done is add more fuel to my anti child feeling which has been growing inside me for the last couple of years, if I can’t control this child could I able to say that I can be a good father, people will always say it’s different for your own and in some ways that may indeed be true but in no way will that help me feel better now.

Easter Monday

Well I have quite possibly had the second gayest day of my life, I won’t tell you the first just yet, haha but yeah going around a park with each click of the shutter my balls shrink, taking pictures of flowers, I may as well get a dress next. But the photo’s are now on photobucket, and I have left one at the end of this blog. To make me feel better I had to drink a beer when I got home. Mainly cos it has been so hot today and I went for a bike ride around the city. On the world’s heaviest and most uncomfortable cycle. Like it is made from solid steel, and got parts which are not needed on it, I never thought the weight of a bike would make that must difference, but I have force to around corners and trying to get some like that to stop is not easy. With the roads in Beijing quick breaking is very important.
I have remembered that I have a little bit of an issue with speed too, I have to get into races with people who try to overtake me, even people who are on scooters and electric bikes, I still have to go faster and here in this city that can easily mean hitting on the millions of cabs. Maybe I have a problem and that explains why I like to watch top gear and play grand theft auto!
Top gear the grown up jackass, does it say something about me when my top ten favourite shows in the last 10 years would have jackass and top gear both in the top 2. Am I so childish that I only want to see men hurting themselves or acting like idiots on TV for cheap laughs? Let’s face it top gear is an extension of jackass, maybe some of the stunts are less physically dangerous but some of the over the time activities and the joy in highlighting the male stupidity are common in both shows. Wonder if top gear goes jackass would be a bad idea for a tv show? Most likely Clarkson would not get along with the Americans and end up trying to shoot them, if he killed Bam that wouldn’t be a huge lose to the world.
Is this such a bad thing that I am so childish?

Of course not, no one could every say that these exactly highbrow entertainment.

But then again I do still enjoy Bottom which also would say a lot about me too.
Anyway I am hungry and want a coffee.

Get me some CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

The alternative to love – Brendan Benson


Wednesday 8:56 Starbucks, Beijing

Maybe it was me and maybe it was you?

How important is that question right now, is it more important to grow from all of this and to find myself again, having given so much for someone else it is time to take something for me. So I will stand by what I have done and stay here for a different reason. Like I have said to other people over the last month, this is something that I have to do seem I must have the courage to stay. Maybe she can would understand and not expect too much from one man, maybe she can or maybe she can’t, maybe she can love me again maybe she can’t, maybe I should stop being so focused on questions that I can’t find the answers to right now.
The simple fact is that I have already made my mind up, now I just need to understand my feelings better

Today I am heading around the city looking for this chuffing embassy and hunting for information, then I will continue to write nonsense in Starbucks with the hope that one day it will be published, next time I post it will be more about Beijing not relationships.

Pic of the day time, so then which was my photo in the last entry, a prize will go to the lucky reader who gets it right.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Modern Love - David Bowie





















Right so maybe this title isn’t anything to do with this entry just the song I was listening to when starting to right it, not even a song that I like too much but I never knew it was a Bowie song, think this will be a theme for all blog entries to come, takes away the difficult and awkward procedure of naming the blog.

Right now it is 11am and I am still in Beijing. The weather here is sunny and starting to get hotter here, time for lots sun tan lotion for help get through the summer.
So how quickly can feelings change for someone and how can I keep going when I don’t get much in return.
It occurred to me the other day that I have let abby break my heart twice now and I have came back for more each time, although I still feel that we have a distance between us that even time won’t be able to heal. I still can’t truly find a way to trust her again and how I ever be happy with these thoughts running through my head?



She may have made her decision to stay with me, now it is time for me to decide if I can carry on with this relationship and if that every elusive future still can be achieved. Today is another indication of the issues which we have in the relationship, I could deal with what she said at the top of the hill, I feel that was due to the conditions but what she said in the restaurant was just unforgivable and simply malicious.
So what else do I have to achieve to be able to satisfy her demands and when will my demands be meet or even acknowledged, I feel it is time to distance myself, I don’t feel the same and I’m not getting much in return for my efforts, even any recognition for the things that I have done or is this just me being scared of committing to something and am I trying to walk away because something seems too difficult now like I have done so many times before?


Dude what a strange day I have had again, this whole situation with Abby and the other guy has turned weird now, a couple of days ago we began to chat through MSN, at first I have been sceptical and to a certain extent I still am careful about what I can say. But the situation is now that he is giving me advice and guidance, even helping me to make this relationship work. How odd is this? Basically I have been finding it difficult to trust her again and to be prepared to love her, now I have found strength to do that from someone I know through very unwelcome circumstances.
I know that I can’t give her a great life in China, compared to the level of work which I can do in England and how much I can achieve in my home country, but I can also bring more to the relationship then just that and she has not totally shut the door on living in the UK now. I guess in a weird way the song did have some meaning in this blog after all.

Enough of that for now, Dugal can’t be serious for too long, pull my finger!
Right time for the pic of the day, hope it uploads this time LOL
you lucky readers are getting two photo's one from me one from her, i'll test you on which one belongs to me at the end of the lesson :)

Iamthebadgermonkey, check out my photobucket account for more pics updated sometimes

Stay Classy



Friday, 3 April 2009

Facebook is the devil!!!!

Ok this is the day that I have decided that I don’t need to follow the flock any more. I will have to find another site just to share photo’s and nothing else, maybe the blog would be a better place to do it from, hrmmm get away from annoying people who don’t want to leave me alone and seemingly wants to hurt me even more.
So that is my small entry on the blog today, my hated for facebook and all other social sites which force people to feel the need to check it a thousand times a day.

Burn them ALLLLLLL!!!!


Oh here is the pic of the day :P



Iamthebadgermonkey